Daily Struggles

Today Jan 19th 2012 , I am mourning the death of My mother who had ” Cervical Cancer ” It hit hard & fast .

She was young at the age of 32 when she started getting sick and went to the doctor and was told she had cancer and it was not cureable and they would do all they could to treat her with what was available for treatment , she had surgeries and chemotherapy to try to stop the spread of this horrible disease and maybe give her a bit more time to live other the the 9 mths they said she had . She had  not live life yet !!

She and my dad had just divorced a couple years before the cancer hit . My mom had moved on and my dad had moved on ,  my mom had met a nice man and she was happy again she was in love and I could see it in her eyes and HIS !! She was young , He was younger but HE LOVED HER !

OH how he loved her , even though he knew she was dying he never left her side , he wanted to to be with her forever , He took her to see the ocean to get her saved and took her to a church for prayers , After all that she continued to get worse and was at the doctors office all the time getting chemo treatment that wasn’t working , I would come home and hear her crying , cause she knew her time was almost near .

She had a final surgery to remove the cancer But It was unsuccessful and they told her , she may live a couple days to a couple of weeks .

She died at Home with the family around her as we all waited for her to pass , There was her boyfrend who loved her he was  by her side then anybody else , regardless of who was in out to check on her , he was right there till she took her last breath . I regret leaving and not being there to say my Goodbyes and give her a last kiss to let her know I love her and that I will miss her .

I was there in & out but had to leave to get my ex husband from work By the time I got back she had died and when I went to the room she was already gone and the funreal home had already came and got her , That was devasting for me , the one thing I remember most of her death is watching her Boyfriend on the ground outside crying in tears and my heart broke , I know he loved her and his heart was broke and he wanted her to live and regardless of what we all did , the cancer had no MERCY .

It’s been 27yrs now , I am 45 yrs old & I miss her so much not just that But she has missed out on all that she gave life to and what life we have gave because of her !!

I HATE CANCER I hope cancer dies of Cancer , and someday we want even speak of anybody dying of this horrible Thing !!

Petra Aleman Gonzales 1950-1985 died of Cervical Cancer before her time !!!! She was only 34 !

Right now if she was alive she would be a proud Grandparent of 15 grandchildren & 17 great grandchildren .